Heauxly Coitus

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Shannon TL Kearns is a transgender man who believes in the transformative power of story. He is an ordained priest, a playwright, and a theologian. He is the co-founder of QueerTheology.com which has reached more than a million people all over the world through videos, articles, and online courses and community. His first book “In the Margins: A Transgender Man’s Journey With Scripture” comes out August 9 from Eerdmans Publishing. Shannon is a recipient of the Playwrights’ Center Jerome Fellowship in 20/21 and he was a Lambda Literary Fellow for 2019 and a Finnovation Fellow for 2019/2020. He is a sought after speaker on transgender issues and religion as well as a skilled facilitator of a variety of workshops.

You can connect with him on social media @shannontlkearns (Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitter) or on his website: http://www.shannontlkearns.com

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: http://jenaya-global.myshopify.com

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.

Ms. Heauxly Coitus

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**This episode contains themes (abuse, assault, suicide, trauma) that may be triggering to sensitive ears and hearts. If you’re in crisis, contact National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK) | website Deaf, hard of hearing TTY and chat options hereEn Español, call 1-888-628-9454… Crisis Text Line | Text HOME to 741-741 | website **

I am Phoenix Rising and I am a purity culture survivor. After surviving abuse from my biological family and the church, I left to find my own truths about life starting with who I am. I have learned and accepted myself as pansexual. Even though I identify as asexual as well due to sexual abuse, I find with the right partner I enjoy sex – yes, outside of marriage – and it’s awesome! Feel free to reach out if you have questions or find yourself in situations like me – @phoenix.rising22 on Instagram.

I chose a Phoenix because it represents my transition from my past life in purity culture to making my own core values and choices when it comes to sex and relationships.

To me a heaux is anyone who lives their own choices and freedoms in the ways of sex and/or relationships. A heaux is a beauty beyond “traditional” relationship expectations.

Phoenix Rising

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: https://heauxlycoitus.square.site

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~ Ms. HC

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A Heaux Abroad: Taking a Break from the Heaux Life

Have you ever felt like you needed a break from the heaux life? Today Jalila and I talked about being a heaux abroad and what happens when you need to take a break from the heaux life because something has gone wrong. Jalila is an American expat living in Shanghai, yes, Shanghai lockdown, you’ve been glued to your social media feeds I’m sure, but I they should be free now. Jalila moved abroad to Beijing China September 2019 and after working for one year in Beijing for Disney English, she relocated to Shanghai after Disney English shut down due to Covid-19.

In America she had stable intimate relationships but in China she hasn’t experienced that. Jalila was content enough being a heaux and embracing her sexuality but had two different experiences where the a man she was seeing stated the intention of wanting a relationship, but whose actions were opposite. After the second experience Jalila decided was hurt and would ghost men after a liaison. Recently Jaila took a break when her last intimate partner reached out and asked what he had done to be treated that way and liked her. Jalila realized that she had no reason, but needed to reevaluate what she wanted from her heaux experience and has taken a break from dating.

Jalila believes it’s important for me to be happy in doing whatever she’s doing and not hurt others and not get hurt as well. She was unhappy in her career in America and found teaching English abroad, and now unhappy in how her heaux experience was going, she’s found more happiness in taking care of her own heaux needs on her own. Jalila does wonder about possibly entering into a polyamory relationship once she back from self-imposed hiatus, because she knows that she wants the warmth that a stable consistent relationship brings but also needs the fire that the spice and variety of different partners provides as well.

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: http://jenaya-global.myshopify.com

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~

Ms. Heauxly Coitus

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Hello! I’m Angela. I’m an everyday 30 year old living on this rock like the rest of you. I have deep southern “geechee” roots but Atlanta will always be home to me. I hope to inspire new moms who are trying to find themselves after going through tumultuous transitions. Sex has always been an ongoing battle for me, but I’m proud I was able to save myself and loving how liberated I feel because of it. I’m happy to share my story and hope you find the courage to continue and rewrite your own.

A “heaux” to me is someone who knows themselves very well and that’s powerful. You can do and be anything or one with the right amount of confidence.

Reach me on IG directly @annie_schmannie

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: http://jenaya-global.myshopify.com

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~

This picture means a lot to me because I’m proud of the man I have became and I can show off my chest if I want to. Talk about freedom!

A heaux in my opinion would be a sexually free woman so I’ll leave it to the women to make comments on that one haha.

King Aiden

King Aiden is an independent American actor, musician and singer-songwriter. Sent to artist development at The Abbott Agency in Nashville by Terry Watson from Warner Music Group. Aiden has worked with artists and producers such as XanTheArtist, Ian Keaggy, Terry Watson, Ryan Cassata, Robert Marvin, David Mullen and TobyMac. He appeared in one of TobyMacs’ music videos with 29+ million views so far. Aiden also landed a role on the show “Nashville” from ABC. Nowadays, King Aiden has found himself a lane in the hip hop and RnB genres and some pop.

All social media: @onlykingaiden

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: http://jenaya-global.myshopify.com

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~

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Follow @BlackSheepBios on Instagram to learn more about Deconstructing religion, faith, spirituality, and all things purity culture!

A Heaux Is someone who embraces their sexual autonomy, and as long as it remains consensual and causes no harm, doesn’t allow religion to dictate what they do with and think about their body.

~Black Sheep Bios

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I don’t normally do show notes, but BSB was super organized and I want to acknowledge my guest’s preparation! See below for our talking points.

1) My Purity Culture Experience

– Purity Ring

-Youth Group

-“Messing up” and enjoying a redemptive testimony

-Conditional love from friends/family, being threatened

-Leaning into purity culture and being shocked it wasn’t all it promised

2) How Purity Culture messed up my Sexuality

-When i had sex, i didn’t do so safely (if you bring protection… that makes it a premeditated sin lol)

-Sex was always intense, passionate, hard, fast, “naughty”… because it was sin. So if I wanted to do it… I had to really lean into that. Unfortunately I’m STILL learning how to embrace the soft, slow, passive, safe, intimate side of it. 

-Sex was a power trip for me. As a woman who had grown up absolutely stifled by misogyny it felt wildly powerful to feel really in control of a man.

– I didn’t truly embrace and accept guilt-free sex until after I was already in a healthy, committed hetero marriage

3) Deconstruction & Black Sheep Bio’s 8 points of “Purity Culture: Fallout”

1. Lasting Shame

2. The Pressure to Perform

3. Unrealistic Romantic Expectations

4. Body Dysmorphia

5. Self- Gaslighting

6. Emotional Disappointment

7. Feelings of Spiritual Inadequacy

8. Unhealthy Sexual Identity

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦Click here for Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦Click here for pictures, past episodes, and stories

~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~

Ms. Heauxly Coitus

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Tia Jones is a trauma survivor and trauma-informed self-trust coach for BIPOC women and femme cycle-breakers. She’s obsessed with helping you be your own cheerleader while pursuing a life you love with more grace, gentleness, and fun! Generational trauma healing is hard. It’s Tia’s mission to help you inject some loving lightheartedness along the way.

A heaux is someone who confidently takes ownership of their pleasure and understands its not a gift that only other people can give, its something they can give themselves.

~Tia

This picture perfectly encapsulates my view of my body because I accept me as I am. Fatness and all.

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦Click here for Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags.

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦Click here for pictures, past episodes, and stories.

To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.

~Jenaya

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Sister Shannon is an ExCatholic coach, helping people raised in Catholicism or impacted by its teachings reclaim the inherent GOODNESS of their bodies and step into their sexual power. IG:@sister.shannon

This is my regular day – because as I practice healthy sex and pleasure, I’ve built such reverence for my pleasure in EVERY moment that I now understand what looks luxurious, over-the-top, “too demanding” to some (I sit in a cafe like this almost every day), is actually my DESIRE. It’s just what I want. It’s just what makes me feel radiant, connected, part of something bigger than myself.

When I grasped the immensity of the pleasure I was designed to experience, and cut out the church crap about desire being devilish, it became my CALL to experience as much pleasure as possible 👅😍

A heaux is someone who realizes wild pleasure is available WITHIN their body…and goes chasing it with reckless consensual abandon 👅

Sister Shannon

Ms. Heauxly Coitus: @heauxlycoitus

💦Click here for Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags.

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦Click here for pictures, past episodes, and stories.

~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~

Jenaya

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B is a 40 year old midwesterner finding his way out of the shame and fear of evangelicalism and purity culture in part by taking and sharing revealing, freeing selfies and self-portraits that are helping him move toward a new love for and confidence in his body. You can follow him on Instagram at @happyinmyownskin.

I like the low-angle photo of me from behind stretching and looking out a window in the morning. I think it represents me waking up from years of missed experiences and looking forward to all the new experiences that lie ahead.

“A heaux is someone who embraces, expresses and explores their desires.”

~B

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**Sidenote from B** also a day or two later (after our recording), i thought about our focus on the family chat and remembered something: when i was 10, my family took a vacation to colorado, and one of the things we did on that trip was tour the fotf headquarters. you know, like any good evangelical family would. (we really didn’t seek out that sort of thing *that* often, but we also went to a taping of the 700 club when we took a trip to virginia. who doesn’t enjoy a dose of pat robertson during vacation? ❤️

Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

Clock here for Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags!

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE!!

My name is Treasure (she/her), I’m sunshine radiating as a Black Queer woman. I’m studying English Literature Online as I maneuver and create a new path of authenticity, free from religion, on the island of O’ahu Hawaii as a newish military spouse.

It’s important for me to say that because I’m finally able to live the life I’ve always wanted, with freedom and privacy to dream and create. You’ll find my thoughts and writings @bodhi.curry & @freespace.diary.

A Heaux is an individual who recognizes and lives in the awareness that sexuality is simply being human. They define their own paths through deliberate intention: “Yes I’m Heaux because I’m listening to what my body wants and we’re vibing, figuring it out together.”

Treasure

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: http://jenaya-global.myshopify.com

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~

Ms. Heauxly Coitus