I was raised as a Seventh-Day Adventist pastor’s kid, attending SDA schools through college. While I never really bought into it and mostly stopped going to church in my 20s, I didn’t start deconstruction and doing trauma therapy until last year at 42 years old. Through deconstructing and with the help of trauma therapy – which I can’t recommend enough! – I started unpacking purity culture and realized I’m lesbian. I’m so excited for the future and being able to live authentically is such a gift and I’m so grateful. Therapy is magic!
A heaux is someone who follows and honors their own desires, who finds joy in being true to themselves first and foremost. A heaux is also very sex and body positive!
I just really love this pic and this variation is not one I’ve seen often! This represents how I think of myself and my body – beautiful.
Patrick @secure_not_pure is from Germany and has American roots – not only by blood, but he considers himself a transatlantic dropout from 1990s American purity culture. His ongoing journey of de/reconstruction has led him away from toxic church structures and a static view of the divine, towards a more healthy and inclusive mindset – and all the way into consensual non-monogamy (which he actually didn’t see coming). Patrick is healing from early trauma and shame, and learning to embrace his own body and sexuality. Topics covered in this conversation include European secularism and faith, the True Love Waits movement, sex positivity, therapy, and the importance of consent and good communication in unconventional (meaning non-monogamous/polyamorous) relationship/family structures.
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~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~
I was raised in the fundamentalist Evangelical Christian movement, where there were very strict predetermined ideas of what was acceptable, holy, and sacred, and what was considered rebellious, evil, and profane.
When I started exploring outside of those strict beliefs, I discovered to my surprise, that the sacred is often found with the profane. I often saw the most beautiful examples of God and God’s love wrapped up with what was considered sinful by the church.
As a response to my exploring, I was rejected by my church of origin and suffered emotional abuse and spiritual trauma, resulting in a complex PTSD diagnosis. Through this painful journey I developed a faith in my own goodness and the goodness of a divinity that can be found by anyone of any religion, culture, or background; a divinity of Oneness and Love. I believe we each have something unique and valuable to bring to the table and that all voices need to be heard.
It’s my passion today to speak out on issues of religious oppression and abuse through my writing and in conversations. I am particularly passionate about connecting with anyone who has a story of spiritual trauma and/or PTSD, and mutually empowering each other by speaking our truths and healing together.
My name is Sarah, and I am a physical therapist who also runs an instagram account in my free time called @DeconstructingPurityCulture. I started this account as a way to process through my own religious deconstruction, specifically when it came to purity culture, and I feel so honored that my words have resonated with so many people. The only goal of my account is to help people feel less alone while processing through and deconstructing their own journey through religion and specifically purity culture. I want to bring to light the numerous scientific studies that have been done recently regarding the effect of purity culture on our bodies and also help people learn how to start asking the hard questions about religion that they were never allowed to ask growing up. You can follow along @deconstructingpurityculture on instagram!
A heaux is someone who understands and embraces that their body is their own and understands that religion doesn’t get to define their body or sexual preferences.
Untamed and unpolished, I’ve always struggled with acne and a distorted view on beauty being done up. Over the course of Covid and the world shutting down I embraced getting real with myself, makeup was prolonging my acne and not being true to myself was causing stress and that would come through in my skin. It’s still a growing process but the more I learn to be very genuine to myself the more my body loves me back for it. I think this bleeds into all aspects of life. It become more about the energy you embody rather than just the external performance.
A heaux is not being afraid to explore the depths of your desires, being eager to understand where a desire roots from and what is there for you to explore. Not for others, but for yourself.
Suzii
Growing up with a single mother taught me that love comes from within, how I view and speak about myself will radiate back what is meant for me in this world. I don’t hide from my mistakes, I find the love in the lessons. I want to help others learn to embrace that their authentic self is what this world needs. The only way I know how to do this is by being vulnerable myself.
Everyone can keep up with my journey on justpressforeplay.com
In this episode, triggering life situations and trauma are discussed. Do take care as you listen and do what’s best for you. It’s ok to not be ok. We here are Heauxly Coitus LOVE therapy and LOVE mental health professionals. For resources, check out…
**This episode contains themes (abuse, assault, suicide, trauma) that may be triggering to sensitive ears and hearts. If you’re in crisis, contact National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK) | website Deaf, hard of hearing TTY and chat options hereEn Español, call 1-888-628-9454… Crisis Text Line | Text HOME to 741-741 | website **
In this compelling memoir, Tasha Denese lays her soul bare as she recounts the adversities of her childhood. Overcoming the Drug Addiction I Never Had is the incongruous true story of deep-rooted trauma and pain from years or physical, sexual and emotional abuse at the hands of people who were supposed to love and protect her. By breaking her silence and finally speaking her truth, Tasha Denese has sought to not only give a voice to other victims of childhood abuse and suffering but she was able to reclaim her life, mental health, and happiness. Born in Miami, Florida, Tasha Denese spent her childhood and a portion of her young adulthood growing up between households as well as between the cities of Miami and Fort Myers, Florida, respectively.
Tasha Denese is dedicated to her own self-growth journey and loves using her words and writings to inspire others. She enjoys connecting to others and is extremely excited about the début of her first book and hopes her writings will encourage others to Overcome their own adversities and make peace with their past, find self-acceptance, self-love, and graciously step into their purpose.
Available for interviews, book signings, and speaking engagements.
I met Trashy D when I was 16 or 17, right around the time my siblings and I were living with our aunt ( he lived with his parents on the same street – a few houses down to be exact) and right before I consequently moved out and ran away from my aunts psychotic behavior.
Although I was already a mother, I was still very much a broken and lost little girl.
I wasn’t physically attracted to him but he resembled the chaos I was already used to and had came from and he was also persistent in pursuing me no matter how reluctant I initially was. He added ZERO value to my life. Everyone who was centered around that relationship which was pretty much his family and his friends, all knew that I deserved better than him and he didn’t deserve me but I didn’t know. Many of them would even try to tell me or hint at the fact in some way. Even his own mother said to me shortly after meeting her “sweetheart, that’s my son, and I love him but he doesn’t deserve you. You can do better than my son. Please break up with him and go live your life. Please don’t let my son ruin your life” But I didn’t listen. Cause I was DUMB 🙄
Anyhoot, two years in (maybe 2.5) I finally realized it for myself. He didn’t deserve me and he wasn’t worth my time or energy. I told him that I didn’t want to be with him anymore and no longer wanted to be in that relationship. He got so angry about not being able to control me anymore that he decided that beating my ass was the next best option. If he couldn’t manipulate me to stay, he was going to beat my ass and make me stay 😳 but that didn’t work either. The night he chose to put his hands on me, he said to me that his intentions were to beat my ass, force me to leave with him (kidnap me), rape me (yes, you read that right) impregnate me and make me have his child so that I would never be able to say I didn’t want to be with him or have anything else to do with him again. We would share a child so I would have to have something to do with him and allow him in my life for the rest of my life.
It’s awkward for me to post a picture of myself. Not because I am self conscious of my body. But it feels weird to say “hey, this is a picture of me that is sexual.” I think it may be due to the fact that humility was hammered into me at a young age and it had both positive and negative consequences. This first picture is of me in my running gear. Being physically fit and how I look after a run or a ride makes me feel sexual. I was taught and taught and taught from a young age that it’s not what’s outside, but inside that counts. And as a “late bloomer” I was always told I was good marriage material or I was a nice guy but nobody seemed to want to date or fuck me. Of course, lots of this is personal body image/purity culture stuff. But being fit has made me feel sexually attractive and vibrant. But I’m also posing in a goofy way which is very much me both in and outside of the bedroom. The second picture is of my bicycle on the longest ride I ever went on. I took this picture in a place called Climax, Colorado. It made me feel fit and I also love to climax. It’s the greatest feeling in the world.
A heaux is a person who is free to engage in and practice their on sexuality, sensuality, and romance in whatever manner that brings themselves and whomever else they engage with pleasure. A heaux is a person that views sexuality through a natural, pleasurable, consensual, emotional, physical, and scientific lens.
BJ
You can follow me on Instagram. I have an account that is attempting to create a community of former evangelicals in both Colorado and anywhere else. That handle is @springsformerevangelicals. You can also follow my personal account @bjkarlik. You can follow me on twitter @bj_karlik
It’s awkward for me to post a picture of myself. Not because I am self conscious of my body. But it feels weird to say “hey, this is a picture of me that is sexual.” I think it may be due to the fact that humility was hammered into me at a young age and it had both positive and negative consequences. This first picture is of me in my running gear. Being physically fit and how I look after a run or a ride makes me feel sexual. I was taught and taught and taught from a young age that it’s not what’s outside, but inside that counts. And as a “late bloomer” I was always told I was good marriage material or I was a nice guy but nobody seemed to want to date or fuck me. Of course, lots of this is personal body image/purity culture stuff. But being fit has made me feel sexually attractive and vibrant. But I’m also posing in a goofy way which is very much me both in and outside of the bedroom. The second picture is of my bicycle on the longest ride I ever went on. I took this picture in a place called Climax, Colorado. It made me feel fit and I also love to climax. It’s the greatest feeling in the world.
A heaux is a person who is free to engage in and practice their on sexuality, sensuality, and romance in whatever manner that brings themselves and whomever else they engage with pleasure. A heaux is a person that views sexuality through a natural, pleasurable, consensual, emotional, physical, and scientific lens.
BJ
You can follow me on Instagram. I have an account that is attempting to create a community of former evangelicals in both Colorado and anywhere else. That handle is @springsformerevangelicals. You can also follow my personal account @bjkarlik. You can follow me on twitter @bj_karlik
My name is Pratibha Dey, Founder @ Chai Together. A video podcast showcasing mental health journeys. I am a treatment specialist for men in domestic violence and I provide mental health support for engineers in the Cyberspace. I enjoy wheel throwing(pottery), current book interest is Osho’s “The Book of Women”, and I’m traveling to Japan this year!
“ Our spines are the most important covers of our lives. They unveil what’s beneath us, what’s unfinished, and what’s to come after gruesome encounters. Our spine is what helps us stand straight and curves us when we need to redirect ourselves. Disability is a thought, we’re merely judge mental to ourselves. Everyday can be different, even when it’s the hardest of times. • Keep your faith. • 🍂”
Image of my back, this photo shoot was done for my 25th birthday where I felt comfortable in my skin for the first time and I became sexually active as well. Below is what it means to me. 🙂
A heaux is defined individually to one’s sexuality and mindset.
Pratibha
Follow my work and join my community focusing on mental health and wellness.
~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~ Ms. HC
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